Notes from a Sigma Male
There are two statistics that may come as a surprise, but teach a big lesson that serves as the basis for financial freedom as a sigma male. When asked what their greatest stress was in life, a whopping 73 per cent of Americans gave finances as their answer, and yet when Americans were asked about what’s most important in life, only 13 per cent gave becoming wealthy as their answer. So is money important or not? Will money make you happy or not? We can learn a lot about the answers to these questions by taking a look at sigma males, and how they approach the matter of financial freedom. That’s exactly what we’re going to do in this Bloke Box take on achieving financial freedom as a sigma male.
First of all – what is financial freedom?
Before we look at financial freedom in the context of sigma males, it’s important to get on the same page about what financial freedom even means. Financial freedom is essentially being in the state where you have enough security in your finances that you are able to live the life you want on your own terms. It means having enough financial resources to pay for your day to day costs of living and pursue the things that matter to us without having to worry about income. Unsurprisingly, reaching this state of security has become a priority for many people, but it requires hard work and careful planning. Financial freedom means flipping the way that money traditionally works – meaning that the money you have is working for you rather than the other way around.
What’s even the deal with money?
But before we talk about achieving financial freedom, we should look at what wealth even means in our lives. So we’ve seen that even in the richest country on earth, money is still the thing that most people stress the most over. They have to worry about paying bills and making ends meet, and for many men, there is also an added cultural pressure to be the “provider” and meet centuries old expectations that financial success is equal to being “a real man.”
But if money was the be all and end all of happiness and fulfilment, then why do so few people rank achieving wealth as their top priority in life? The discrepancy between these two statistics reveals a lot, and speaks to the nature of money itself. Money is not a state of being and wealth is not a type of growth. Money is in fact nothing more than a tool – a tool that we can use to live in a way that brings genuine fulfilment in our lives. The reason so many people stress about money, yet so few prioritise it as a goal, is because money is only valuable so long as it serves its purpose as a tool to allow us the freedom to do as we please. Once people earn enough money that the burdens of day to day life like rent and healthcare costs are no longer a pressure, the value of wealth quickly starts to diminish. Sigma males understand that chasing an ever-increasing paycheck is a sure fire way to lose sight of the passions that having money allows us to pursue. Understanding the true meaning of money and wealth allows sigma males to approach their financial goals with personal fulfilment and self actualisation as their main priorities. They do not get swept away in the cultural obsession with wealth, and wouldn’t be caught dead flaunting wealth to make others feel below them. They understand that true fulfilment comes from within and design their financial goals around this wisdom.
They know themselves, and they plan for themselves
When it comes to the men in life who blindly chase financial success without any real understanding of why they’re doing so in the first place, they often fail to make a realistic plan. Sigma males understand what it is they actually want from money, which is simply the ability to live stress free and pursue their passions. With this in mind, they are able to calculate their realistic needs and construct a financial plan that is finely tuned to making this a reality.
Sigma males are able to achieve this level of clarity regarding their priorities as they are highly analytical and reflective in their thought processes. Rather than spend all day long trying to win over the favour and approval of others, they are more than happy to take time for themselves and reflect on what it is that they truly care about. Sigma males enjoy a constant pursuit of growth throughout life and put in the time and effort to make sure that they are growing in a direction that is true to themselves.
This means that when the time comes to design an actionable financial plan for their lives, they have realistic expectations and can create a series of means that have a tangible end. Not only does this make it a lot more likely for sigma males to succeed in their financial endeavours, but it also gives them a much greater sense of drive and purpose as they pursue their financial freedom when compared to those who simply want to make as much money as possible, just for the sake of it. Intention and focus lies at the heart of the sigma male’s approach to earning money and obtaining financial freedom, and with careful reflection, analysis, and planning sigma males usually find themselves arriving at exactly where they intended to be.
The dangers of chasing financial freedom
When many men first encounter the concept of financial freedom, they quickly become totally enamoured with it. All too quickly, that can turn into something of an addiction. Earning just for the sake of it can lead to a lifestyle that is soulless, and often ruthless. Focusing too much on earning can actually act like a physical addiction within the brain. The thought of earning more triggers mini chemical highs that can become addictive in and of themselves if they are not underpinned by some greater purpose, such as making a change in the world, or the pursuit of a genuine passion.
How to spend
When it comes to the men in life who blindly chase financial success without any real understanding of why they’re doing it. It’s all too common that people chase wealth and money simply so that they can spend, without sparing a thought for what they’re spending on. The acclaimed writer Jonathan Swift once said that “a wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart.” These words ring true today, and the question of just how a man spends his wealth will determine its true value in his life.
There is an old Chinese saying that says “money can buy you a house, but cannot make it a home.” Sigma males understand this on an inherent level. They are the lone wolves of society, who care very little for the judgements that others pass on them. Whereas most people in society determine some element of their worth based on what others think of them, the worth of a sigma male is totally within his own sense of judgement. He does not feel compelled to earn the respect or admiration of others through flashy spending or acquiring symbols of status. In fact, people are often surprised when they first become aware of the financial success that a sigma male has experienced, as he is so unlikely to show it off. They don’t drive flashy cars, and will always choose humble, practical clothing in place of big brands or ostentatious designer items. Wealthy sigma males tend to fly completely under the radar, which is exactly how they like it.
Sigma males can be slow to make friends in the first place, preferring relationships built over a long time and based on trust and loyalty. The idea of making friends or being surrounded by a social circle whose sole bond is based on money and status is practically a nightmare for a sigma male. Sigma males will therefore avoid flashing their wealth and instead choose to make friends based on true interests, passions, and loyalty.
The sigma approach
Sigma males use the pursuit of financial freedom as an opportunity to generate a true sense of value in their lives. Their approach creates satisfaction not from wanting more, but learning to want less. There are countless philosophies from the span of history that try to preach what the sigma male inherently believes. Buddhism, Taoism, and the Greek stoics all teach the benefits of learning to want less as opposed to more. The Greek philosopher Epictetus said that “wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants”, and sigma males live by this in their day to day lives. They understand that most desires stem from a lack of gratitude and self understanding. By understanding the bare minimum of what they need to be satisfied, they implement a mindset of gratitude that prevents them from experiencing an ever growing desire for more.
Fulfilment through financial freedom
Sigma males pursue financial freedom to the extent that allows them to live in a state of emotional freedom. The ability to do what they want, when they want, and place truly fulfilling goals at the centre of these pursuits. Inner peace, free time, dignity, self respect, gratitude, and health all make for goals that bring with them a true sense of value that can never be replaced by the flashy material possessions that money can buy.
To live this way requires developing what the stoics refer to as a deeply internal “locus of control.” Locus of control is a concept that refers to the extent to which we believe that we have the ability to influence our circumstances. Possessing a high degree in internal locus of control means not letting outside conditions affect our internal state of well-being. A sigma male practices this by letting his happiness and fulfillment begin from within. His world is not defined by the events that surround him, but rather by how he chooses to react to them. Living this way means that no amount of financial wealth will ever truly be able to sway the value and satisfaction he takes from his own life. He is able to make decisions not in the pursuit of financial freedom, but instead make decisions for himself free of financial concerns.
Adopting the sigma mindset
Living this way does not come easily to every man. Most of us have been programmed from a young age to view wealth and financial achievement as a goal that can be equated with manhood and success. Deprogramming yourself from this way of thinking takes time, but the journey can be easily begun by placing gratitude, self-reflection, and true passion at the centre of how we view our relationship with money and wealth.
