Notes from a Sigma Male
By Halle Rider
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, you will have heard the term ‘sigma male’ thrown around a lot in the media. This rare breed of male archetype has been thrust into the spotlight in recent years, and up until then, not many people knew what a sigma male was. When it comes to male personalities, most of us have heard the term ‘alpha male’ and ‘beta male’ plenty of times before, but ‘sigma male’ was practically unknown.
The idea is that every man has unique personality traits that define his actions and make up the man that he is. We use these male personality classifications to try and understand the man in question, to categorise his actions into specific traits and tendencies, and to try to understand why he lives in the way that he does by observing his most prominent personality traits.
So what exactly is a sigma male? What are the traits that make up his personality, and more importantly, how can you try to adopt the same mindset? This is what we will be delving into here, so make sure you read till the end to learn what it takes to achieve the mindset of a true sigma male.
The sigma male is known as the more introverted version of the alpha male. He is just as confident and self-assured, and he does sit at the top of the social hierarchy just like the alpha, except the sigma lies outside of it, intentionally. This means that he lives life totally on his own terms, free from the pressures of the expectations that society pretty much demands from men. So if you want to adopt a sigma mindset, you need to try and free yourself from what society expects from you and stop caring about what other people think. Live life how you see fit and live in a way that benefits you, instead of behaving in a way and doing things that you have been taught you are ‘supposed to’. This will go a long way to helping your self-confidence too, which is what you need to possess if you are a sigma male.
One major personality trait of the sigma male is that he doesn’t play by the rules. He is a non-conformist, and non-compliant with authority. This means he is a bit of a rebel, a maverick, a James Dean character who, while not necessarily a criminal, is happy enough to just about toe the line, bending the rules where he can to suit him. He isn’t always against the rules – he will ‘obey’ if he genuinely agrees with said rule. So to adopt a sigma male mindset, while we don’t condone breaking the law or every rule in the book, especially when it could negatively impact others or yourself, you should be a bit more of a risk taker and if you can get away with bending the rules in a way that will benefit you and what you want out of life, then just do it!
Do you remember how earlier we talked about the sigma male being just as confident as the alpha male? Well that much is true, but the type of confidence and where it comes from is slightly different. The alpha is outwardly confident, but the difference is that for the sigma, that confidence comes complacently from within. This means that unlike the alpha who relies on a large group of friends to increase his feelings of self-worth, the sigma male does not rely on others for approval and validation. The sigma knows that in this life, the only opinions you should care about are your own, and the only approval you need should be from yourself. Coming from any other source makes the validation temporary and superficial – and that also means you end up relying on others for your own happiness and the sigma male is not at all about that.
Therefore the sigma male is more likely to have a much smaller group of very good friends, preferring quality over quantity – and he will never look to them for validation.
So if you’re looking for ways to adopt more of a sigma way of thinking, you need to look within yourself to find your own sense of worth, and never depend on other people for their approval. Keep a small circle of close friends, but they should complement you and your personality, not complete you.
Speaking of relying on yourself for validation, if you want to adopt a sigma male mindset then you need to rely on yourself for everything else, too. One of the main traits of the sigma male is having tons of self-sufficiency and independence. When it comes to survival and making his own way in the world, the sigma doesn’t depend on anyone. He makes his own money, pays his own bills, and solves his own problems. He won’t rely on authority either, not only because he’s a bit of a rebel, but because living dependently with strings attached means he isn’t able to live in a way that allows him to control his own destiny. So, to have more of this sigma male mentality, you need to make sure that the only person you are relying on for anything is you, and you alone. However, just like the sigma, you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help when you really need it. True self-sufficiency includes being able to ask for help when its necessary!
To have the mindset of a true sigma male, you need to ensure that you are respecting the boundaries of others. A sigma male is able to easily pick up on body language and social cues from other people. While they are both charming and charismatic when it comes to social interaction; unlike the alpha, who is more likely to bully and bulldoze his way into getting what he wants even if it means at the expense of someone else’s comfort, the sigma male understands the importance of personal boundaries and will respect them, expecting the same respect in return. He would hate to make anybody feel uncomfortable and will walk away or change the topic when he senses he might have overstepped the line.
If you really want to adopt a sigma’s mindset, one of the most significant things you must learn is how to be fully happy on your own. This is how we can easily tell him apart from the alpha and it comes down to his more introverted nature. As a person who is deeply introspective, he loves nothing more than his own company, and not only wants, but needs sufficient time alone in order to be happy and reenergised. He will also avoid social media when he can, preferring to interact in real life and cultivate deep and meaningful relationships.
He is perfectly capable of interacting with others and being social when the need arises, and he does it well – but when he is alone, this is when he truly thrives. This time in his own company gives him the freedom to explore the things that he really enjoys and that will help him improve his life, and better himself. Whether that be reflecting on his day, learning new skills, or working on his physical and mental health, you should always prioritise and relish time alone if you want to have the mindset of a sigma male.
A sigma male will always put his own needs first, and if you want to be like him too, you have to learn how to genuinely prioritise your own wants and needs – even if it comes at a sacrifice. The sigma male always looks out for number one first, despite how others may think of him. Remember, the sigma male doesn’t care about what people think of him, and neither should you if you want to adopt the sigma mentality. Whether it’s a romantic interest you are pursuing or life goals, you will prioritise what is you really want above everything else.
Sigma males really dislike superficiality and shallowness, so you won’t find him jumping on the latest trends or fighting over the latest pair of trainers. If you want to adopt the mentality of the sigma male, you must also learn how to stop caring about materialistic possessions and what latest trend everyone else is jumping on. The sigma male never follows the crowd – he goes against the grain and walks his own path, completely independent to what those around him are doing. The fact that he avoids social media as well shows that not only does he not care about following the crowd, but he’s less likely to even know what the latest trends are – and that’s his preference.
By nature, sigma males are highly adaptable and flexible and he puts this across so convincingly that this may make it seem that he has truly assimilated into the social hierarchy. But don’t be fooled, the sigma is in fact well aware of this hierarchy but rejects all notions of it – if it seems like he’s assimilated into it then it will only be temporarily, and only because he finds some sort of personal value within it, or for his own enjoyment or benefit. He will have no problem walking away from it without looking back – and he probably will at some point. So, you too should have no problem in assimilating into the social hierarchy, only if it’s for your benefit, and to adopt the sigma mindset when it serves your needs being able to walk away without any hesitation when you’ve achieved your goal.
Now, let’s go over the main points that you need to bear in mind when learning to adopt the sigma male mindset.
- Don’t be afraid to bend the rules when it comes to getting what you want and take a little risk now and then.
- Be confident and self-assured, relying only on yourself to get what you want – but don’t forget that you can and should ask for help when you need it.
- Respect others and their personal boundaries, and don’t be afraid to walk away from a negative situation.
- Stop caring about trends and what everyone else is doing. Don’t follow the crowd and be your own man even if that comes at a sacrifice.
- Be highly adaptable and flexible to any situation, learning how to insert yourself into the social hierarchy only when it serves your needs, and be ready to walk away from it the moment you no longer need to do so.
- Above all, put your own needs first, learn how to be truly happy on your own and look to yourself for all the approval and validation you need.
With these tips, you can learn how to adopt the sigma male mindset.
