Notes from a sigma male
Different is always suspicious to us humans. Anyone who doesn’t automatically fit into what we think of as normal is thought of as distant, outside the group, or even as dangerous.
That’s why people may question if the Sigma is dangerous or not. Because he’s different, he doesn’t fit the mold of what we think of as normal.
There is a lot of debate about how this classification of male personality actually fits into the accepted list of male traits. But the one thing that seems constant is that the Sigma Male does stand out of the crowd. He is different, and that brings up several questions in people’s minds.
Is he a quiet Alpha Male, keeping to himself; not prone to attention-seeking and drama like a typical Alpha might? Or is he simply a Beta Male trying to get out from under the cloak of a weaker stereotype? The debate rages on.
And the debate rages on simply because the Sigma Male personality type is not as common as some of the other male traits that we’re familiar with.
Because of their quiet and withdrawn nature, most people know even less about the Sigma, posing several questions, such as – are Sigma Males dangerous? Am I safe around a Sigma Male? Are Sigmas friend or foe? Will they help me if I need it or will they take advantage of the situation? These are all normal flight or fight types of questions that people ask in the face of the unknown.
These are also typical questions that come to mind when confronted with an introverted person. As the old saying goes, it’s always the quiet ones you have to worry about.
Then combine that idea with a Sigma’s strength and power, and it makes the question even more prominent in people’s minds.
We often wonder about a person who chooses to live their life outside the norm of our social hierarchy, and who is insensitive to authority, such as a typical Sigma Male.
They’re different, they’re distant: They may be dangerous, especially if they don’t respect authority. And if they don’t respect or follow authority, then they surely won’t hesitate to confront me, or worse.
We tend to trust and accept what we know and question and be suspicious of the unknown. It’s typical human behavior.
Even if we don’t like a certain personality trait, we at least trust that they fit into a box or definition that we know. They’re familiar, therefore I can trust them, even if I don’t like them.
Regardless of whether a man is Alpha or Omega people understand them. If you don’t like the pushy, self-centered and outgoing personality of an Alpha, you at least recognize him. At that point, you can either associate and communicate with him or avoid him altogether if you want. But either way, you know what you can expect from him.
Likewise, if you dislike the lower Omega personality type, you at least know who they are. You trust that you know how they’ll behave and you can knowingly interact with them or avoid them. Either way, you know where you stand with them.
Then take the Sigma. He’s strong, he has a presence, he has no problem telling you that you’re wrong, but he’s quiet and keeps to himself. How do you deal with that? It’s an unknown. It doesn’t’ fit into the societal box that we all know and trust. He must be dangerous. Right?
Another reason the Sigma might be thought of as someone not to mess with is that they have a low tolerance for incompetence. If something isn’t being done properly, the Sigma will quickly take over, making others fall in line. Which can be scary to some people.
No one knows how to deal with a person who stands up and tells everyone what to do. Everyone wonders if this person is crazy or if he really knows what he’s doing. And if he knows what he’s doing, then that means that I don’t.
And if I question his authority, then the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing will show, and everyone will know, which is possibly more scary than anything.
Which is reason enough to not like a Sigma or at least, not trust a Sigma.
So the question should also be asked: Do you mistrust the Sigma because of his behaviors or because of your own behaviors, your incompetence, ignorance or preconceived notions? Do you mistrust him because he stands up and gets things done, or because you can’t?
Does his behavior force you to look at yours and self-examine?
Can we even expect anyone to be honest enough to answer that question about themselves? It’s not an easy question to ask, let alone to answer.
These types of questions are themselves scary, which would add to the question of the Sigma. If someone makes you reflect and examine your own behaviors, then they may be dangerous by definition. Most people would rather die than look at their own behaviors and ask if they’re wrong or not.
Another reason a Sigma Male might be thought of as dangerous, or at the very least, off-putting, is that the Sigma is usually thorough and efficient. Their way of doing things is usually quicker and better for the project and everyone involved. He will have thought things through and is ready to take action.
The Sigma will have no problem correcting people. This can be intimating or upsetting to others, especially if they know the Sigma is right. No one likes to be shown up, especially in front of others.
Another obvious trait of an Alpha is that they have a presence. When they walk into a room, people recognize them right away, then the Alpha acts like an Alpha, just as expected.
Adding to the mystery, the Sigma would command the same presence when entering a room, but not behave in the same way as the Alpha. This may compound the confusion and add to the question of the Sigma.
Why is this guy quiet? Why is he standoffish? Is he upset or mad? Will he go off the handle? Is he about to explode?
If this guy is obviously an Alpha but doesn’t act like it, then he must be ready to go off the rails and may take us with him.
Of course, this is not necessarily the case. The Sigma is a strong male archetype it’s true, but it doesn’t mean he’s ready to lose it. It just means he’s thinking, calculating and planning his next sentence and his next move. He’s thinking about what to say before he says it. As more people should.
Being bold, manly and an Alpha doesn’t always mean that you have to be outgoing and boisterous. It could simply mean that you are more of an introverted version of an Alpha or, a Sigma Male.
And just to clarify, being introverted does not automatically classify you as a Sigma either. That distinction comes from how Sigmas process information or a problem. Most people may feel the need to talk through a problem with other people.
Whereas a Sigma would tackle the problem internally, work through it himself, then possibly discuss his conclusions, if necessary.
The Pandemic may have been the perfect living environment for the typical Sigma Male. Independent and self-sufficient, yet adaptable outlines the Sigma. He’s definitely withdrawn and quiet and likes his solitude.
The Sigma Male was social distancing long before it was popular, which would definitely add to the mystery of this unknown male character.
With all that said, just because the Sigma is different does not mean he’s dangerous. He is more than likely figuring things out, thinking about the situation. He’s someone who is manly and confident, but thoughtful.
Because the Sigma Male thinks of himself first and has a deep sense of self-awareness, he is typically able to manage his emotions better than other people might, which may even mean he’s less dangerous than others might be in any given situation.
That’s not to say that all Sigma Males are not dangerous at any given time. Just like anyone else in the world or any other personality type, we all get angry, upset or stressed. We all get provoked and pushed to our limit.
If there is a danger, it may come from conflicts with an Alpha. The Sigma knows he’s as strong as an Alpha. He also knows that this could cause stalemates or confrontations, which could be another reason the Sigma pulls back from crowds.
Although the Sigma is bold but thoughtful, it’s still a good idea to not provoke a Sigma. Just like it’s not a good idea to provoke an Alpha or even a Beta, Delta, Gamma or Omega for that matter. We all have our breaking points where we’ll snap, even the Omega.
The overall lesson is to not always judge a book by its cover. To not automatically think that different is bad or somehow dangerous. There are many things in this world that we don’t understand, even people and their quirky behaviors.
We all have to live with each other, even the social outcast, the freaks, the different and the quiet and reserved. Much of the great works of art, philosophy and music came from people who were different. How many inventors do you know or that you’ve heard of conformed to society’s norms? Not many I imagine.
How many people who made real change in the world do you think complied with authority or followed “the norm?” And how many do you believe were free thinkers, who thought outside the box? Probably most.
So before we all try to stuff someone in the box of conformity, in the box of our familiar, we should pause and ask ourselves; is my box the right place for everyone. We should ask ourselves if my way is the right way for everyone or if there are perhaps better ways for other people.
If someone neither wants to dominate people nor wants to be dominated by others, then maybe they’re simply on their own path. Maybe they’ll pave the road for others in the future.
All and all, the Sigma is strong and should not be trifled with, but he’s typically no more or less dangerous than you or anyone else.
We hope that shed some light on the question of whether or not Sigma Males are dangerous. They certainly have some qualities that could be looked at as suspicious or dangerous, however, like so many of us, the Sigma walks to the beat of their own drum.
