If the ‘strong, silent type’ was a person, he would be the Sigma male. Despite their quiet demeanour, they somehow radiate masses of confidence and respect from the people around them. Sometimes, this is even to the point where others want to follow their lead, which does not necessarily align with the Sigma’s agenda – after all, craving the spotlight is more of an Alpha thing. So, how on earth do they actually do it? How does one effortlessly have the masses fall in line without saying a word? Let’s take a look at the four main skills involved…
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Stay humble
We know that Sigma types prefer to exist outside of groups, but a mature and wise Sigma understands the importance of being a not only valuable, but also likeable and respected part of the team nonetheless. Sigma males form an integral part of any team and are usually the reason for success, yet they habitually redirect praise to other members of the group. You see, Alphas usually think the best way to earn respect is by taking all the glory for themselves, but exploiting people to appear superior is a fast track to being seen as a fraud without integrity. By instead learning to share praise, Sigmas bolster that existing respect for their accomplishments by additionally coming across as humble. This also tends to go down well with team members who respect and appreciate the Sigma’s ability to share praise. This in turn builds a strong work ethic and good relationship with the Sigma, which actually benefits him long-term. A prime illustration of this is Keanu Reeves who is always quick to shift the focus from himself and highlight lesser known members of his team. For example, he is regularly praised for his action sequences and responds by graciously accepting some credit for his fight scenes, but very rapidly moves on to provide high commendation and recognition for his stunt man. By doing this, Keanu isn’t completely downplaying his achievements to the point of self-depreciation, but he demonstrates that he is confident enough to share the spotlight. Sigma males practiced at this skill are able to maintain respect and dignity while elevating others.
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Non-verbal communication
There are lots of clever and elegant ways this is executed, to the point where other people won’t register that very few to no words were actually spoken. He will use active listening skills to acknowledge the content of the discussion by nodding or using subtle facial expressions – this makes people feel heard and validated, thus respecting the Sigma’s opinions. Hand gestures is also a tactic that is employed often to serve a vast number of purposes. They allow the Sigma to maintain participation, but more importantly, he will signal moments before he begins speaking in order to indicate to others that they should stop talking. This means he does not have to fight to speak or capture attention in a room full of voices; instead, all fall silent and make way to listen to his every word. The Sigma will tactfully maintain his hand gestures and hold eye contact while he is speaking in order to convey confidence and sustain engagement. This also ensures everyone is aware he is not done talking and will not interrupt him. All of this is achieved even with his low and controlled speaking voice because the non-verbal communication is his way of being loud, animated and holding a room without actually raising his voice. That brings us to the next skill…
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Unshakeable composure
Sigmas have a rich internal world which allows them to observe and internalise their surroundings before formulating an informed response or reaction. This is highly admirable to others because Sigmas tend to remain cool, calm and collected in the face of adversity, chaotic individuals or even intimidation. True to their archetype, they follow the beat of their own drum and remain on their own level rather than feeling the need to rise to any aggression or stress from external influences. Sigma males will never take the bait no matter how much other people try to provoke them, because giving them the reaction gives them power over you whereas they retain that control by being non-reactive. Whatever the situation, the Sigma male looks at peace and at home, completely confident in his level headed ability to deal with it. Even his relaxed, laid back posture will signify this – not overly animated, not sitting rigid and still, but completely unperturbed – he is not trying to be a stoic, he is simply composed. This attitude comes from the Sigma’s own indestructible belief system which allows him to respond in line with his own values and stay consistent in his conduct. This consistency also cultivates respect because Sigmas stand their ground, giving a sense of finality to their decisions and this exudes a quiet confidence compared to a person feebly attempting to exert control for ego’s sake. Sigmas naturally possess something that is quite rare – that is the ability to possess genuine internal confidence rather than just mimicking it, and that really comes across. These virtues can make others feel resentful even though the Sigma conducts himself appropriately; if you are interested in learning more about that, check out our article on Why People Hate Sigma Males.
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Observe and assimilate
As quiet people, Sigma males have plenty of opportunity to observe their surroundings, including the people around them, and notice the little details others miss. This has an advantage where social dynamics are concerned, and Sigmas must integrate to meet their own ends or function in life. You see, taking a step back allows him to read the room – the tone of the conversation, mood of those around him as well as an idea of how to charm them. This means that when he does speak, he is charming and offers well thought out perspectives which are of high value – in other words, quality over quantity. The Sigma’s powers of observation allow him to have plenty of charisma at his command, which he can use to seamlessly assimilate when he needs to play the long game. There is actually some science to this which shows instant reactions are produced by the emotional and impulsive hub of the brain, the amygdala. If you jump in with your first thought, you are more likely to have a low value input and even make inappropriate comments. By pausing instead, the Sigma male allows that signal in his brain to pass so his frontal lobe can take centre stage; this area of the brain is responsible for high level thinking, allowing for a more insightful response. This has other benefits too; after all, a wise man once said that when you speak, you are simply regurgitating what you already know… but when you listen, you have the chance to learn something new.
So, from this in depth look at the four core skills implicated in commanding respect quietly, we have essentially learned that the less you speak, the more people listen when you do. People tend to value the Sigma male’s input and quiet authority because he embodies his beliefs and displays them without reservation. And, let’s face it, Sigma males are very mysterious so their allure probably makes people wonder what’s on his mind – they are hooked. The bottom line is, the Sigma man is usually the quietest person in the room, but where Betas end up disappearing into the background, Sigmas remain valuable, active and core components of any discussion.
