By Halle Rider
Sigma males and alpha males share a lot of the same personality traits and characteristics which isn’t a surprise when you consider that they sit at the same level in the social hierarchy with beta and gamma males beneath them. But they aren’t quite in exactly the same position – while equal in status, the sigma male will choose to sit outside this hierarchy and observe from a distance, safe in the knowledge that he doesn’t conform to the expectations of this social hierarchy. Despite being similar in many ways there are several things that the sigma does so much better than the alpha, and that’s what we are going to be writing about here.
9
Not feeling threatened or forced to compete
Alpha males are compulsive competitors and look to dominate their environment. They want to be the centre of attention and if they are not then that can be problematic for them.
Sigma males don’t care about dominance or competing with anyone except for himself – he doesn’t see other people as competition and he doesn’t feel threatened by them, instead he prefers to base his outlook on other people dependent on their skills and contribution, their individual personalities and attributes. He scoffs at the alpha males innate need to compete and frankly sees it at a huge waste of time and energy.
8
Expressing himself without being aggressive
The alpha male. He is known to be dominant, loud and boisterous, with the tendency to come across as pretty intimidating and aggressive, especially when it comes to expressing himself. But the sigma doesn’t like this type of personality and while he shares common traits with the alpha male, he is definitely better at being able to express himself and his thoughts and opinions without aggression and intimidation. He stays calm, cool and collected at all times and if he gets into a heated discussion or tense situation, he is usually the only person capable to diffuse it.
The sigma male prefers to avoid confrontation as he sees it as a waste of time and energy so will prefer to cut his losses rather than battle it out.
If he is forced into a state of combat, then he will rely on strategy to beat the opposition, instead of brute force that the alpha relies on as he usually revels in aggressive confrontation and the in-your-face energy that comes with it.
The alpha male uses the brawn, and although the sigma male may very well have brawn of his own as he is likely to be a guy who spends time working on his physical health, he prefers to express himself using brains.
7
Being genuinely non-conforming
The sigma male is well known for being a non-conformist and non-compliant with authority. This means he chooses to sit on the outside of the social hierarchy, along with all of its norms and expectations. He is the personification of a rebel without a cause, who goes against the grain and this comes to him as naturally as breathing and sleeping. The alpha on the other hand may pretend to rebel against society and brand himself as a bad boy; a maverick who walks to the beat of his own drum, but the difference is that for the alpha this is all an act that he puts on to stand out from the crowd and to get what he wants – not a natural non conformer at all unlike the sigma male who is as non-conforming as they come, by default.
He doesn’t follow trends, he doesn’t feel the need to do things that society demands of him, or behave in a way that is deemed as the ‘right’ way to live.
The sigma’s desire to walk his own path, follow his own instinct and shake things up in order to stay true to himself might ruffle some feathers along the way, but there is nothing that can stop the sigma from being his own man.
6
Staying authentic and true to himself
So, it’s no surprise that something the sigma male does far better than his alpha male counterpart is staying true to who he is with his authentic nature.
The sigma male knows exactly who he is, what he is about, what he wants from life and importantly, what he doesn’t want. He won’t ever sell out or go against his morals, ethics, and beliefs. He holds those as valuable as the alpha does personal gain whatever the price. The sigma does not have time for people who sell their soul to the devil, he prefers to live his life free from guilt and lies, even if he is the only one affected. He doesn’t want to be lying on his death bed one day, filled with regrets for living a life not aligned with who he truly is as a person. The alpha doesn’t think that far ahead, and neither is he likely to care. The alpha only cares about the present moment and what he can personally gain from it.
5
Relying on himself for validation
The sigma male is just as confident as the alpha male, but something that he does so much better is not having the need to depend on other people to feel validated. He knows that the importance of self-worth tops that of the opinions of anybody else. If you don’t feel good about yourself, then who can you depend on to do so for you? The alpha male on the other hand doesn’t feel complete without feeling valued by his peers. He may have tons of mediocre friends in order to achieve this validation and increased feeling of self-worth, as opposed to the sigma male who is more likely to have a much smaller group of very close friends. The sigma doesn’t see any sense in this whatsoever – he knows the validation you get from others is only temporary until you need another hit of validation from someone else. You can never achieve true fulfilment, and It means absolutely nothing if your self-worth doesn’t first come from within. For the sigma, quality over quantity wins every time.
4
Being self-sufficient and liberated
As we learnt in number 5 on this list, one of the main traits to being a sigma male is having a ton of self-reliance and independence. The sigma has this in spades. Self-sufficiency is a trait that is most common in the sigma archetype, and he does this far better than the alpha does. The alpha is more likely to need to rely on others to be enough, even though he would never admit it, of course. The sigma doesn’t need anyone to take care of him or do things for him to help him to survive in this life. He recognises his own problems and can easily solve them himself, however he won’t be ashamed to ask for help if he really needs it. After all, being able to ask for help can also be considered as being self-sufficient! But overall, the sigma avoids relying on anyone else, including authority to live in a way that allows him to control his own destiny and live in a way that is true to himself.
For example, as a free spirit, he will be more likely not to own his own house in exchange for the freedom that comes with renting. He relishes his liberty and ability to depend on himself, so it wouldn’t be surprising to anybody if he decides to travel the world alone with nothing but a backpack and a passport. This doesn’t faze him – if he encounters challenges, he has the confidence in himself to know he will be able to handle them.
3
Respecting boundaries
Yes the alpha has tons of confidence, and yes he’s very extroverted, social, and likes to be the life and soul of the party, but there is one thing that the just-as-confident-but-more-introverted sigma male does so much better than the alpha that might surprise you. And that is having respect for boundaries and the comfort levels of other people. In order to get what he wants, the alpha will bulldoze, bully and force his way through situations, manipulating others if need be without regard for their feelings or level of comfort with him. If the alpha wants to talk to someone to fulfil whatever ulterior motive he has, he won’t let anyone or anything stand in his way. He is likely to prey on those who are more empathetic and sensitive individuals, those more likely to remain polite and somewhat engaged and less likely to cause him a problem. How charming! No, but really – the alpha is incredibly charming, so that is how he manages to get away with it.
The sigma on the other hand wouldn’t dream of continuing to talk or behave in a way that would make someone else feel uncomfortable. He understands the importance of personal boundaries and will respect them, in turn expecting others to respect his own boundaries too. The seems fair enough!
While the alpha and sigma are equally as charming and charismatic, the sigma will read body language and act accordingly whereas the alpha may also have picked up on these social cues but won’t care in the slightest.
2
Being alone
In comparison to the alpha male who needs socialisation in order to feel reenergised and rejuvenated, the sigma male is fantastically capable of the simple act of being alone. This is due to one of the main difference in personality types between the alpha and the sigma being extroversion versus introversion. As an introvert, with some describing them as an ‘introverted alpha’, the sigma male truly enjoys being alone, and he loves nothing more than just to be in his own company as this is how he rejuvenates and reenergises. Being alone gives him the space to work on himself, whether it’s for his emotional, physical or spiritual wellbeing, or working on personal projects.
This explains why he doesn’t tend to be such an avid user of social media, preferring instead to participate in meaningful activities such as developing and cultivating real relationships, new experiences, or gaining financial independence.
1
Putting himself first – always
You may think this sounds like an alpha male behaviour, and you would be mostly right – but one major difference is that an alpha will sacrifice his own needs and wants for the good of his tribe, sacrificing his own happiness by instead prioritising the needs of highly valued members of said tribe before his own. The sigma male on the other hand, doesn’t care what is ‘good for the tribe’, as he is a lone wolf – and unless the tribe serves as a short-term practical or rational solution for the sigma, well… then he doesn’t want to know. He looks out for number one first and foremost despite how others may perceive him for doing so. Whether it’s a personal, professional or romantic goal he is pursing in that moment, he will prioritise that, and ultimately himself, above all else.
