Notes from a Sigma Male

To have a fulfilling and enjoyable life, we all have to think about what we want our lives to look like, now and in the future. 

We should think of what kind of career we want, who we spend time with, what our hobbies will be and where we’ll live. Also, we have to decide what kind of social life we’ll lead and who our love interest will be.

These are questions we should all ask ourselves, however, the Sigma more than likely asked these questions a long time ago and has a thoughtful plan.

Although you may choose a more broad or non-specific outline for your life, the Sigma Male will be very calculated and specific about his life.

Planning and organizing are engrained in his DNA. It’s completely normal and even enjoyable to plan his daily tasks, his work and his social engagements. So it should be no surprise that the Sigma would have a thoughtful plan for his life.

As an introvert at heart, his hobbies will be tailored more towards individual sports and activities rather than team or group sports. 

The Sigma is flexible and can easily adapt, so he could fit into your group activity for a while, but he’ll soon tire of the idle conversation and pointless activities. 

Scuba diving, surfing, hiking, swimming, weight lifting, running marathons define the Sigma’s hobbies. Reading, deep and critical thinking and having meaningful conversations about philosophy, science, politics and social issues occupy his intellect.

The Sigma enjoys creating new solutions to problems so he’s more suited towards a fulfilling career as an architect, an engineer, or a boxer. He might also find Research and development or the sciences rewarding. 

The point is that in order for the Sigma to find enjoyment the fluff and irrelevant must be cut out. The trivial must not touch his life.

Some think of fun as a big messy or a playful disaster, not caring about the details and throwing caution into the wind.

That would not describe the Sigma Male or his view of fun or enjoyment. Likewise, his life can’t be a playful messy disaster, it has to be clean and well planned.

If you’ve ever looked at a well-organized calendar or a neatly arranged sock drawer and thought, “now this is living,” then you’ll have an idea of how the Sigma thinks.

An organized house and life is pure heaven to the Sigma. It just doesn’t get any better than a clearly defined to-do list.

Although there is nothing wrong with a playful mess, it should, however, be promptly cleaned and organized and everything put back in its place if you’re a Sigma.

Spontaneous is a great word, a great idea, but spontaneity should be planned and thought about beforehand. No sense in diving into something without any forethought is there?

As most people prefer constant or near-constant social interaction, the Sigma finds joy in solitude. 

“There’s no time like alone time” according to the typical Sigma, as they usually need lots of time to themselves. Don’t take offense, it’s not personal, and they probably do like or love you, it’s just that they need to go within more than you might. 

This could include time simply to read a book or work on a project. And if they can’t find that solitude and you won’t give them the space they need, that means that you’re infringing on their Zen time and they might become rude or difficult to be around.

Talk is cheap; well, small talk is intolerable to the Sigma anyway. They love talking and having stimulating conversations, but usually only about topics of importance or of great interest. Such topics may include politics, science, or topics that are socially relevant. They would more than likely have researched and thought about them and have formed an opinion. 

They typically would have a thoughtful and insightful take on the topic. Talking about TV programs such as The Bachelor or Jersey Shore is probably like sticking small needles in their eyes. It’s just something they won’t want to do.

Breaking rules they find inconsequential or irrelevant is like a day at the beach for the Sigma. They usually have thoroughly thought through a problem or workflow or process and have thought of a better way to get things done. They, therefore, find the current rules or constraints more of a barrier than anything useful or helpful. 

So do they find pleasure in breaking the rules? Not really, it’s more about finding better solutions and proving it to the person who came up with that silly rule in the first place.

Religion could be a topic the Sigma could sink his teeth into. It’s a combination of asking why are we here? Is there anything else out there? Are we alone? Is there a point to life?

These are philosophical and theological questions that would make any true Sigma’s mouth water. This is the kind of deep thinking and meaningful conversations that would hold the interest of the Sigma Male. 

To ponder the great mysteries of the universe and of life is pure pleasure to the Sigma. He would gladly give up a day at the water park for a book reading or a science or philosophy convention. 

He enjoys being successful, but it’s not about the success itself, it’s more about the work, the accomplishment. The Sigma loves his work and thinks of it as a part of who he is, it defines him.

He doesn’t parade his success around for others to envy. He doesn’t boast about his accomplishments or draw attention to himself. He did the work, he accomplished, and that is enough for the Sigma, the work is the reward.

He’s also smart, and he knows it. But he doesn’t find pleasure in rubbing his superiority in other people’s faces, which actually attracts more people to him.

He enjoys using his intelligence to better his own life or to fix problems or invent new ways of doing things.

He also strives to be the best at what he does, not for competition’s sake, but because that is who he is. Being the best at something means that he is the best he can be. Which is actually a great lesson we should all learn from the Sigma.

He knows that self-mastery is important in life, and enjoys the path. 

In fact, the road to self-mastery may be one of the most enjoyable aspects of his solitary life. He knows it’s a journey and not a destination and takes great pleasure in crafting his own way down the road of life.

And to accomplish this kind of mastery a Sigma may spend his time developing skills or talents that require sacrifice and daily practice. He may meditate, fast, exercise or practice an instrument. 

Dedication and hard work are more than fun for the Sigma, it’s fulfilling on a deep level. So taking the weekend to create a budget or to meditate on becoming more self-aware is a weekend well spent.

The Sigma is probably more aware and tuned in than most people. He is thoughtful and pays attention to his surroundings, which means he knows his flaws and life’s distractions and dangers. The Sigma strives to overcome such weaknesses in the human condition. Another trait we could all learn from. 

Have you ever spent a weekend, a week, a month or even a day trying to overcome a weakness in yourself? 

The Sigma may not live like a Monk, but we might consider him a modern-day Monk or Stoic as he shares many of the same goals and thought processes. 

We all love women, sex, love and attention, and the Sigma is no exception. 

Just as the Alpha attracts women by their very nature, so does the quieter counterpart, the Sigma. It’s easy for them to attract women and they find it one of life’s more pleasurable gifts.

How would you like to walk into a room and have your pick of the litter? Talk about enjoying life?

Spending time with the opposite sex is one of life’s great pleasures, however, it does not define him. He doesn’t need the attention as others might. 

Enjoying something or wanting something is different than craving something like an addiction. The Sigma knows the difference.

A defining trait of a Sigma is his self-confidence so he doesn’t need to beg or grovel or resort to cheap stunts to attract a woman, nor does he want to.

He generally has an easy time finding the woman he wants.

And because of the Sigma’s solitary nature, they find the more independent women more desirable. These types of women don’t need constant attention or affection. 

They tend to enjoy their space, hobbies and work, which complements the Sigma perfectly. Both can have love and affection when needed, then both can retreat back to their solitude. What an enjoyable arrangement! 

The Sigma couldn’t conceive of a better relationship.

And because of his confidence, he’s not worried that she doesn’t love him. He’s not neurotic and doesn’t’ need that constant reassurance from his love interest. 

He generally trusts that he knows where he stands. And if he changes his mind or his feelings change, he would have no problems letting her know.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. The lesson we should all take away from the Sigma is to think about our lives, to plan what our lives should and could look like. 

Why spend a lifetime doing something you don’t enjoy or doing something that doesn’t’ bring you fulfillment?

If we all took a page from the Sigma playbook, we would spend some time self-examining who we are, where we fit into the world, what our talents and weaknesses are. 

We would be happy to learn what makes us different. We would embrace those differences rather than spend our lives trying to be something that we’re not, just to fit someone else’s view of the world.

If there was ever a better way to live than an honest and true-to-yourself life, it’s unknown to the Sigma. We only have one shot at this, so enjoy your life, like the Sigma enjoys his.