Notes from a Sigma Male

It’s really through taking a deep look at sigma males that I’ve come to get a true understanding of the phrase “all that glitters is not gold.” To most people, sigma males come across as total enigmas. It can be really difficult for others to understand the unique sigma approach to life, and the reason why sigmas do things the way they do. Their unique, confusing, and – more often than not – intriguing way of living life has a habit of turning heads and catching attention. Though their ways might seem unconventional, they more often than not work, and sigma males leave those around them equal parts intrigued and impressed.

Adopting the sigma mindset

So when it comes to the topic of sigma males, I always find myself getting asked the same kind of questions. What makes them so unique? Why are they so good at living independently? How can I become more like a sigma male? The answer is simpler than you might think, as it all comes down to mindset. There is no magic potion or big hidden secret that will suddenly solve all of life’s problems and produce a sigma male out of thin air. The truth is, a sigma male is a man who is able to take on life with the sigma attitude. While this way of looking at the world might come completely naturally to some men out there, this is certainly not the case for everyone.  

But just like anything in life, it can be trained and improved. Learning how sigma males work, and what’s going on inside their heads, can serve as a path for any man to take these ideas on board and apply them in his own life. That’s why today I’m sharing with you guys the most important insights into the specific mindset that creates a sigma male, so that you can start adapting it to make changes in your own life and start bringing out your inner sigma traits.

Locus of Control

One of the most striking aspects I’ve come to recognise in sigma males is that they possess an internal locus of control, as opposed to an external one. Locus of Control is a term that refers to the degree to which people believe they can control the outcomes of events in their own lives. Those with an external locus of control are people whose lives are largely guided by factors outside themselves. External forces can include authority figures, social attitudes, or personal circumstances. But at the end of the day, if these forces stop them from deciding the outcomes of their lives for themselves, then their locus of control is external.

Sigma males dedicate themselves to living with an internal locus of control. This means retaining as much influence over the course of their lives as possible. There are various factors involved in how sigmas develop this internal locus of control, and they are largely tied to the sigma’s relationship with ego, autonomy, self reflection, and dedication. These are the major areas of your mindset you need to address if you want to take back control and be a man of your own making.

Men of their own making

Their internal locus of control is precisely part of the reason why sigma males are so good at living life on their own terms is that they reject society and all the norms and expectations that society would have them try to live up to. Sigma males are not typically able to conform like everybody else, and live outside the traditional hierarchy of society that most people fall into. They are sensitive like beta males, yet confident like alphas, and their unusual blend of personality traits can leave others at a loss when it comes to how to get inside their heads.

Despite living outside the traditional bounds of the social hierarchy, sigma males often find great success in life, and win the admiration of others precisely because of their ability to reject society’s expectations. This success can be traced back to how sigma males allocate a sense of value in their lives, and then in turn how they translate this value into action.

They define values for themselves

Sigma males don’t live by the values that society projects on to them. They tend to be deeply distrustful of authority and dogmatism, and are never seen to accept something without first applying a healthy dose of scepticism. Luckily, sigma males tend to produce a naturally high degree of intelligence, which makes them better critical thinkers, but regardless their scepticism is well trained over time.

Sigma males apply this healthy scepticism and commitment to critical thinking when it comes to determining their values in life. They spend a great deal of time reflecting on both themselves and their surroundings, and try to get in touch with their innermost instincts and feelings in order to put their finger on what it is they want most out of life.

Sigma males don’t care whether or not other people share the same goals or values as they do. They know themselves inside out and aren’t afraid to pursue goals in life that might leave other people scratching their heads. For this reason, sigma males often end up as innovators in their fields, as they are able to think outside the box and come up with ideas that wouldn’t occur to those who are determined to stay inside the lane set out for them by society.

They know themselves

One thing that people often get wrong about sigma males is thinking that they fit into the box of “introverts.” While it’s true that sigma males tend to express their personalities in more reserved ways, they do not fit so neatly into the category of introvert. They choose to remain on the sidelines and act more as observers out of choice, never fear. In fact, sigma males tend to hold very little fear when it comes to social interaction. More often than not, a quiet sigma is simply one who’s listening, or else he’s just bored.

The sigma’s ability to observe his surroundings carefully and constantly learn from them brings him a great deal of confidence in his understanding of his environment. He also applies these deeply reflective and observational skills to his own traits and behaviours, and is not afraid to confront himself for who he truly is. By getting to know both his environment and himself on a truly authentic level, the sigma male is able to build up a great degree of confidence – the type typically associated with more “alpha” personalities. The difference between the sigma’s approach to confidence in comparison with the alpha, however, is that the sigma’s sense of confidence is accompanied by ego.

A sigma male has faith and confidence in himself because he knows that he understands what he is best at, and what lies outside the limits of his control. He is not seeking to impress anyone else with his actions, and so his confidence doesn’t take a hit based on judgement from the outside. Funnily enough, developing this deep sense of ego-less confidence is a trait that tends to win sigma males a great deal of respect and admiration from their peers, and is an approach to self worth that can have life changing and grounding effects on anybody who practices it. 

Risk brings reward

Sigma males can sometimes surprise people with the decisions they make, and often earn themselves a reputation as being somewhat unpredictable, or even a risk taker. The thing is, despite how they may appear, when taken by a sigma, these “risky decisions” are very rarely risks at all. Combining his analytic mindset towards opportunity with the confidence and self awareness he has towards himself, the sigma male is unafraid to take unprecedented actions. His deeply internal locus of control means he knows what he is capable of, and is confident in his risk assessment. With his analytic skills, the sigma male is able to evaluate the potential payoff from any risks he might take, and won’t act rashly without being certain of himself. I’ve seen sigma males take risks that everyone else around them thought was crazy, only for them to later eat their words.

The sigma’s ability to take risks also comes somewhat down to his ability to embrace setbacks. A lack of ego means that sigma males are not afraid of what other people will think if at first they don’t succeed. They are willing to take risks that may not yield rewards at first, because they know that within every “failure” there lies a lesson. Sigma males are happy to confront these lessons head on, and rather than shy from seeing themselves fail, they embrace it as an opportunity to learn more about themselves and so further guarantee the likeliness of future successes.

Adopting this mindset can have a profound change on the way you live your life. Rather than being held back and paralysed by fear of failure or judgement, embracing any and all opportunities to learn about yourself is one way to guarantee a life of constant growth and self improvement.

Self sufficiency and independence

When it comes to the sigma mindset, freedom is paramount. Their internal locus of control is so key to their mindset that there’s nothing more frustrating to them than the feeling of being caught or restrained. That’s why sigmas will be seen to do everything in their power to remain as independent as possible throughout their lives and retain their locus of control. This means they can be slow to build friendships or commit to relationships, but that’s really just because they want to be absolutely sure that the commitments they form will not hold them back in life.

A focus on self sufficiency lies at the heart of the sigma’s internal locus of control. These men like to be prepared for any eventuality, as they hate the feeling of being caught off guard. Sigma males want to be able to do as much for themselves as possible, without having to ask for help or rely on others. This striving to be independent propels sigma males throughout their lives, and is a driving force being the success they so often find.

This attitude can become life changing when applied to many areas of life, like work, family, and relationships. Rather than interact with these parts of our lives out of necessity or dependency, the sigma male’s devotion to self sufficiency means that he gets to make work, family, and relationships a matter of choice and passion. Sigma males will devote themselves to making sure they are never forced to stay in a dead end job just to pick up a pay check, or a loveless relationship for the sake of mutual dependency. When men build confidence in themselves to truly stand on their own two feet, the effect can be massively empowering and really propel them further in life.


The sigma male mindset is not totally easy for everyone to wrap their heads around. It is a unique blend of confidence, humility, analytical thinking, and gut instinct. Sigma males respect everyone equally and expect nothing in return. Their dedication and near obsessive pursuit of freedom and independence make them a bit of a wild card personality type, but one that more often than not, achieves whatever he sets his sights on.

Other men can learn a lot from the sigma male mindset, most importantly to respect themselves and not be afraid of confronting who it is they truly are. By being honest with themselves, all men can learn from the sigma male’s dedication to growth and self actualisation. Only from inward reflection, can men really build up the kind of inner confidence that allows them to stand on their own two feet and tackle any difficulties or setbacks that life throws at them.

I’ve seen many men turn their lives around completely by embracing self reflection, and developing self confidence and a determination to achieve their goals. That being said, there are many other lessons that can be taken from learning about how sigma males think. I hope this article gave you a good insight into how sigma males approach their place in their environment. For more insights like the ones shared in this article, you can check out the rest of the Bloke Box library – there’s tonnes on here.