The Sigma archetype is notoriously elusive and very difficult to comprehend because of their seemingly contradictory nature. Most people are used to categorising men in terms of traditional binary alpha and beta types, but he is neither dominant nor submissive and functions on a fundamentally different wavelength. It is no wonder then, that Sigma males are often misunderstood; and loner or not, that can get very frustrating very quickly. So, if you have found yourself questioning why everything you say is interpreted differently than intended, then this one is for you. One small label like ‘submissive’ can carry a lot, so here are 4 that tend to be attributed when people read Sigmas all wrong:

4

They Are Rude

From a Sigma perspective, small talk is seen as boring and pointless white noise rather than an essential social skill. This is because Sigma types don’t feel any benefit from external validation, often seeing it as superficial; this means he will not waste energy people pleasing, where others feel the need to list their credentials or be the life of the party. Instead, Sigma males will focus their attention on the few he finds genuinely stimulating and engaging, or failing that, be perfectly comfortable not interacting with anyone at all. Society is full of pleasantries, meaningless faux pas and arbitrary formalities. So, you can see how someone outside the hierarchy who refuses to participate in these things and goes against the grain can come across as rude. Basically, don’t expect him to stick to the dress code, answer to your texts promptly or do anything for the sake of niceties rather than good reason. It is also worth saying that since Sigmas are not interested in dealing with pleasantries, it is a given that for a lot of them, this is not where their strengths lie because they simply will not put the effort into honing this meaningless skill in futile socialisation. So next time you meet someone who seems indifferent or aloof, before taking it personally, just ask yourself whether they are genuinely rude or merely refusing to partake in unnecessary interactions.

3

They Are Emotionless

If you are a Sigma or close to one, then you know very well that the notion that they are cold and unfeeling is a huge misconception. In fact, an advanced Sigma man is actually highly self-aware, balanced and pragmatic – he knows exactly who he is and what he is feeling. People often mistake their perfectly reasonable actions as being callous, but the reality could not be farther from the truth. For this archetype, emotions are a fundamental integer in all their decisions – rather than being disregarded, emotions are given the same value as irrefutable logic and the two variables in combination allow for informed and constructive actions. This is often misunderstood because unlike most people, chaotic and impulsive emotions are not the driving force, but neither is logic by itself! Instead of being reactive, the Sigma male prefers to reflect and come up with a practical action plan to best address his needs. In romantic relationships in particular, this method combined with their disregard of traditional societal expectations can read as unfeeling, ruthless or robotic because this focus on problem solving is unlike the volatile outbursts people mistake for passion. Rest assured though, that is a mistake. Sigmas may not naturally communicate everything they are planning, but their rich inner world and self-awareness allows them to be empathic and considerate towards those they care about. After all, a relationship that is solution driven has much more longevity than impulsive and destructive actions. When it comes to emotions, choosing actions over words is how Sigmas show they actually care, whether it is about a person or a project.

2

They Are Arrogant

Sigmas do not concern themselves with the trivial task of fitting in or winning imaginary popularity contests. They prefer to be left alone and equally leave others to their own devices with a ‘You do you and I’ll do me’ attitude. This is actually quite a peaceful and unproblematic way of life, but of course conventional society feels uncomfortable with this, because society feels uncomfortable with everything that is different. The Sigma man is then ascribed many incorrect labels as an attempt to define him in relation to the social hierarchy, and in this case they are labels like ‘snob’ or ‘arrogant’ or even ‘narcissist’. This refusal to partake or conserve energy is often misread by people as the Sigma believing he is above them, but of course the Sigma male is an entity unto himself and neither below nor above anyone else. When forced to take leadership roles, these labels can again be mistakenly attached. This is because Sigmas can be dismissive of other people’s inputs, or neglect to ask them for their views completely. This is not a matter of arrogance or insensitivity, but due to the simple fact that he can see the outcome so clearly. In fact, asking for contribution just to pacify ego would be completely inefficient, increase the probability of failure and ultimately, cease to be redundant. In this case, he applies the motto ‘If you want something done properly, do it yourself’ – others simply need to trust his process, sit back and enjoy the road to success instead of trying to slow down victory.

1

They Are Submissive

In stark contrast to alpha males that want to dictate every discussion, Sigma males have the courage to sit in the background, observe and participate without being the class clown. If you want to specifically learn more about how they command respect while staying quiet, make sure you check out our other articles. Sigma types routinely present as solemn and reserved at face value, yet they possess many alpha qualities which allow for a more dignified and elegant version of leadership. This same quietness however, can be mistaken for submission by those among us not blessed with skills in observation. Many people equate quietness to agreeableness or acquiescence, and some may even try to foolishly exploit this perceived submission at their own peril. Before you make the mistake of labelling someone a beta, take a second look at that unassuming, introverted, intelligent man and ask yourself if he is just a dormant leader biding his time to shine. You can easily tell Sigmas and betas apart by the signature Sigma quiet confidence, ability to play puppeteer and non-compromising belief system. After all, a true leader is the man who is self-assured and confident enough to let go of the facade of power, extrinsic validation and pointless accolades.

[Discussion/ conclusion]

The take away from this is that Sigma behaviour does not fit the social narrative, and so their actions can be interpreted in the wrong way in an attempt to make them fit narrow ideologies. Since these social structures are so deeply ingrained, people don’t tend to respond well to the fact that Sigmas challenge the power balance. Even those without power become comfortable in their oppression and don’t want to be reminded that it is a choice, and so the frustration is redirected and Sigma behaviour is interpreted incorrectly. Other times it is not as malicious, and people simply struggle to comprehend Sigma behaviour because it follows different reasoning or drives than their own – this leads to misunderstandings. So next time, take a pause before you think you have someone all figured out.