Whether we like it or not, small talk is a pretty unavoidable aspect of social interactions. It’s pretty impossible to go through the day without some social setting necessitating a bit of light, surface level conversation to keep things friendly. Despite being unavoidable, small talk is something that many still struggle with on a day to day basis – particularly those with more introverted personality types. Sigma males, being an introverted personality type, often struggle with the pressures of small talk. Their lone wolf nature and preference for deep and meaningful conversation means that surface level niceties can often feel fake, superficial, or boring. But there are some tricks that Sigma males can use to help make things easier, and that’s why we’re going to go through some ways to help handle small talk as a sigma male.

The basics

When it comes to small talk, there are some basic principles of communication that might seem a little obvious, but can truly make all the difference in terms of how you come across. Making little tweaks to body language and posture can give introverts a major boost of confidence when making small talk – in ways that are both visible and internal.

1

Relax

Small talk is at its heart something light and casual. Even if it brings with it some anxiety, it shouldn’t be treated as stressful or overly consequential. The best approach to making small talk is simply to relax and allow yourself to be at ease. Breathe deeply, relax your posture, and let the tension escape from your body. Simply physically relaxing will allow you and the person you’re speaking to feel more at ease in the conversation.

2

Make eye contact

It may seem almost too obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people genuinely need to hear this advice. Introverts tend to avert their gaze when they’re not 100% comfortable speaking to someone. Sigma males in particular may find their gaze wandering as their mind drifts elsewhere during the conversation. Staying mindful of this, and making sure to hold eye contact is a simple yet effective way of staying grounded and present in the moment.

3

Be an active listener

One of the most important lessons there is when it comes to effective communication is the art of being an active listener. An active listener shows that they are truly present with the person they’re speaking to, and their visible engagement brings encouragement to further the conversation. Active listening requires tuning in to what your partner is saying, and tuning out environmental distractions such as side conversations or passers by. Easy ways to signal active listening include giving little confirmations like nods or affirmations of understanding such as “right” “uh huh”, and “I see.”

4

Keep things friendly

Small talk is supposed to be a light and friendly interaction that acts as a social lubricant and makes it easier to get along with the people around you. Turning small talk into a combative or unfriendly interaction serves no purpose, and should be avoided at all costs. Even if you completely disagree with the person you’re talking to, it’s best to avoid jumping straight into rebuttals when it comes to making small talk. Sometimes it’s best just to listen and save your disagreements for a deeper and more worthy interaction.

5

Channel your natural curiosity

Sigma males tend to be bored by the predominantly surface level on which small talk takes place. This can make it particularly difficult for them to focus on the conversation and pay their full attention. However, sigma males are blessed with a natural curiosity, and can use this to their advantage when making small talk. Learning to channel the natural sigma curiosity into every conversation – deep or otherwise – is one of the prime ways that sigmas can use the traits that normally contribute to them being lone wolves as powerful social tools.

6

Ask questions

By channeling natural curiosity, it becomes far easier to ask questions – a staple of any good small talker. Asking questions demonstrates active engagement, and shows that you’re truly listening to your partner. Asking questions also has a subtle but powerful effect to win your partner over to liking you, as your curiosity towards them makes them feel interesting and flattered.

Take the conversation deeper

While there are basic principles of interaction that can make any social situation pass with greater ease, the sigma male would still rather take conversation further. Small talk doesn’t necessarily need to stay small, and the sigma male can benefit from learning how to subtly steer conversations that begin as small talk to a place of greater depth and relevance. By doing so, sigmas can take even the most superficial of conversations to the deep level of thought and interaction that they prefer. To take the conversation deeper…

7

Don’t take questions too literally

One trademark mistake of small talk novices is taking every question they’re asked too literally. Normally in small talk, people tend to ask pretty shallow questions that they, in all honesty, are not very interested in hearing the answer to. Getting sucked into answering questions literally tends to limit the scope of the conversation, and prevents the discussion from moving into a deeper and more genuine place.

8

Use questions as a springboard

Instead of taking questions literally, a better approach is to use questions as a springboard. This means that rather than directly addressing what was asked, sigma males can use questions as “inspiration.” For example, if asked “how’s work?” – the literal approach may be to just say “good” or “fine”. A true conversationalist, however, uses this question as an opportunity to bring up an interesting aspect of their work, and open the conversation to a more detailed topic about something they’re actually interested in. Using questions as a springboard shows people that you’re actually listening and thinking about what you’re being asked, and makes for a more fulfilling interaction for everyone involved.

9

Transition from facts to feelings

One top notch piece of advice to deepen a conversation is to move things away from the realm of facts to a discussion of feelings. Rather than simply discussing the details of your work or home life, steering the conversation towards how those details make you feel instantly breaks down barriers and creates a more genuine discussion. People will always feel more engaged talking about their personal experiences rather than sheer facts, and asking questions geared more towards experience than fact is a great way to build up trust among peers and colleagues.

10

Share your own experience

Rather than merely listening passively and letting your partner do all the talking, small talk offers a great opportunity for you to share your own experiences and relate to your peers. If someone is sharing with you their troubles at work, offering up insight into your own struggles shows that you are both listening and that you are able to relate. This creates an instant bond, and helps steer the conversation in a deeper, more genuine, direction. 

11

Offer your thoughts

Similar to offering your own experiences, sharing your thoughts or advice on their experiences shows that you’re listening and builds a genuine connection. People will be far more inclined to open up to you and have deeper conversations if they know they can rely on you to weigh in and offer support or advice.

Enhance your conversation skills

Beyond these tricks for moving conversation in a more meaningful direction, there are plenty of simple yet effective tricks for squeezing the most out of conversation in general.

12

Take tactical pauses

Far from being awkward, pauses can be hugely beneficial to the flow of conversation. The best conversationalists know how to leave pauses throughout their speech to give others the opportunity to hop in with their own interjection. This is a subtle way of making sure you never dominate the conversation, and making others feel comfortable joining in. By using tactical pauses, you can speak confidently knowing that as long as no one interrupts, you’re free to continue talking, as it means they are sufficiently interested in what you have to say.

13

Use gateway topics to have deeper conversations

Always remember that you have as much power to steer the conversation as anyone else. Just because the current topic of small talk is uninteresting doesn’t mean that small talk as a whole has to be. Learn to love small talk by seeing it as a gateway to something deeper.

14

Laugh off any awkward moments

Any social interaction brings with it the potential for awkward moments, and small talk is no different. While introverted personality types may find themselves cringing extra hard when conversation goes in an awkward direction, there’s really no need to take it so seriously. One of the best lessons anyone can learn in life is how to take things lightly, and this applies especially to inconsequential situations such as making small talk. Being able to simply laugh off any awkward moments sets an easy going and self assured tone to the conversation that puts everyone at ease and allows people to be more themselves.

15

Know when to cut things off

Especially if you use the tips that we’ve gone over here, you may find yourself becoming adept at small talk to the point where it doesn’t feel so small anymore. Socially talented sigma males quickly develop the ability to delve deep into conversation, and this is one of the reasons why people love talking to them. However, the downside of this is that sometimes sigma males can get deeply sucked in, and struggle to know when to cut the conversation off.

There are some simple tricks to effectively putting an end to small talk in a way that keeps the mood light. Providing a rationale always helps to put an end to a conversation, but it’s important to be honest with your reasons. Don’t lie and say you’ve got to run to the post office if it’s not true, as being caught out on a lie will undermine whatever positive impression you’ve managed to make. Saying something along the lines of “it was great getting to chat – I’ve got to get going now but let’s talk soon!” is a polite and non-descript way of getting out of a conversation that’s starting to drag on. Whatever you do – don’t feel awkward about leaving small talk when you feel the time is right.

And there you have it, these were our top tips for sigma males when it comes to handling small talk. Despite their introverted nature, by following a few simple steps – sigma males possess the ability to master small talk and harness it to their advantage.