By Halle Rider

The sigma male and the alpha male have a lot in common, and some say the sigma male is essentially an introverted alpha male, meaning he has the chance to place himself at the top if the social hierarchy, just without possessing the loud and boisterous personality of the alpha male.

Males are taught to behave like an alpha, but there are some who do not care for the rules and end up being just as popular and attractive – cue, the sigma male.

So, what are some of the traits and characteristics that sigma and alphas have in common? Well, they’re both confident effective leaders, highly attractive to the opposite sex, and totally sure of themselves and what they want in life.

Due to their similarities and equal status in the social hierarchy, it’s no surprise that there is some rivalry between the alpha and the sigma male, and we’re going to look at some of the behaviours that the alpha has that sigma males really hate.


He craves to be the centre of attention

Sigma males tend to be loners, and while this doesn’t mean they dislike being social and having fun with their friends, it does mean that he doesn’t need to be around other people to have a good time. One of the things the sigma male detests about his alpha rival, is that the alpha male is the leader of the pack, extremely sociable, and always wants to be centre of attention. This is so opposite to the sigma male that he can’t help but roll is eyes when he sees the alpha male posturing for centre stage. The sigma male doesn’t feel the need to actively engage in social interaction in order to succeed in life and relationships. And in return, the alpha male hates the sigma because of how easily the sigma male is able to succeed while the alpha must work pretty hard to achieve his status.


He is aggressive and intimidating

The alpha male presents himself as a strong, loud, boisterous personality, often coming across as aggressive and intimidating. When you put alpha males together, the most aggressive will overpower the others. It won’t be obvious fighting; it will be subtle yet still just as vicious. Even something like giving advice or giving each other a compliment will be geared towards lowering the other’s self-esteem, therefore putting themselves in the dominant position, right at the top of the social ladder.

The sigma male hates this because he chooses to sit outside this hierarchy, instead relying on strategy to dominate their opponent, as opposed to the alpha male, who relishes the in-your-face energy that conflict brings. This doesn’t mean the sigma is weaker physically; it just means that he prefers to avoid conflict because it wastes energy and resources – in his mind, conflict is inefficient and he prefers to cut his losses rather than fight. The sigma male really hates this about the alpha. The alpha male’s mentality could be represented by a boxing match, vs the sigma as a chess match. The alpha male might beat you down with brute force and aggression, but the sigma male will beat you down intellectually, and the sigma sees that as far superior.


He swaggers with arrogance

The sigma is not the type to swagger around the place, showing off and being flashy. He is happy just being himself, doing his own thing and not trying to stand out like a sore thumb, thank you very much. So, it’s no surprise that he really can’t stand the arrogant, peacock display that the exhibitionist alpha male rival puts on in order to attract attention, dominate social groups, and get his pick of the ladies.

Whereas the alpha male is usually quite the materialistic, money-orientated capitalist, the sigma male finds nothing more banal, pointless, and downright cringy. The sigma male couldn’t get less about material possessions. For him, it’s all about life experience and working on himself.

Inexperienced alpha males will be arrogant enough to try to pick fights with the sigma male, mistaking the sigma male for a beta male due to his quiet nature. The sigma male hates this arrogance, and knows he is far superior because he is able to see through the alpha’s weaknesses and can make the alpha look like a fool in front of his followers and admirers.


He ‘pretends’ not to follows social norms and expectations

As the typical ‘rebel without a cause’, sigma males are not about conforming to social norms and expectations. This isn’t simply an act that he puts on to stand out from the crowd and be alternative – we know that the sigma male does not care about that. He has the choice not to conform, and that’s exactly what he does.

But alpha males do things to show off, branding themselves as a rebel and a bad boy to get the attention and recognition, but the sigma male does this by default.

Sigma males really do not appreciate the way the alpha males ‘copy’ his natural trait, using it to show off and attention seek. The sigma sees it as extremely disingenuous and embarrassing.

Sigma males rebel for morals and ethics, while the alpha male rebel for power and position, which really gets on the sigma’s nerves.


He relies on social validation

Alpha males are highly confident and extroverted, unlike the sigma male who is just as confident, but more introverted. The thing that the sigma really dislikes about the alpha here, however, is the way that they rely too much on social validation from others to feel good about themselves. The sigma sees this as a huge weakness, as he does not need or want validation from society to feel good and secure in himself, because he relies on himself alone to do that. He is confident and self-assured from the inside out, which is what makes him different to the alpha male.

Alpha males tend to have a large circle of friends due to their need for validation from others, but the sigma male will stick to a small, close group of friends because for him, being attached to too many people or the wrong type of people will drain his energy.

For the sigma, it’s about quality NOT quantity; and that’s something that he can’t stand about the alpha male.


He is too obvious and inauthentic

For the typically mysterious sigma male, he hates the way the alpha is so obvious! To the sigma, it is so blatantly obvious when the alpha is trying to conform to society, to fit in, or pretend that he also goes against the grain when he just wants attention. Genuine mystery and a lone wolf mentality is what the sigma male has in spades naturally, and when it’s not genuine, such as when an alpha male tries to use it these traits for his own advantage, the sigma can smell it a mile away. The alpha is jealous of the effortless way that the sigma male attracts attention from women – his natural alpha male traits means he is very competitive and will do whatever it takes to complete, but the sigma male is not impressed as he knows it’s inauthentic.


He pretends to be adaptable for personal gain

When it comes to personality traits, the sigma male is super adaptable and flexible to his surroundings and social groups that he belongs to. He is a social wanderer, being able to fit in with almost any group.

Being the try-hard that he is, at least, in the eyes of the sigma male, the alpha male is disingenuous, only pretending to have this adaptable and flexible trait to gain access to different social groups but in order to fulfil an ulterior motive; usually something for his own personal gain and he will often do this at the expense of other people.

For example, let’s take a look at the ‘player’ – a typical alpha male, he will come across adaptable and flexible to appeal to the attention of women he is trying to bed by saying and whatever necessary in order to fulfil his desires – even if it means he hurts the woman in question emotionally.

The sigma male will play the game to get what he wants from women too, but he has boundaries he will not cross and if that means hurting someone in the process by deception or by being disingenuous then he won’t go down that road.

In his eyes, someone who behaves like this is cowardly and immoral, and therefore has an intense lack of respect for alpha males who engage in this type of behaviour.


He disregards social cues for attention at the expense of others

It’s clear from miles away that the alpha male exudes confidence. He has a very outgoing personality which allows him to interact and talk with anyone as he is also highly charming and charismatic. The difference is, when you meet a sigma male it may not be as obvious compared to an alpha but once you get to know a sigma male you will discover that he is just as confident, charming and charismatic – but there is one big difference, and the sigma male absolutely hates this in the alpha – he will always put his needs first and if he wants to talk to someone, nothing will stand in his way. Being the charmer that he is, this means that some people such as empaths or highly sensitive people may be subtly manipulated into giving the alpha male attention, even if it comes at their own detriment. The sigma male can see right through this and cannot stand the alpha male who bullies and manipulates others for their attention. When being social, the sigma male will read body language of other people and if he doesn’t feel like they are reacting to him positively then he will act accordingly with respect. He hates the way the alpha will pick up on these cues but totally disregard them if he thinks he can still get what he wants and achieve his own objectives.

The sigma knows his needs come first too but would never step over other people to get to the top.