Notes from a Sigma Male

“Solitude is independence.” These are the words of the famous German-Swiss author Herman Hesse, and these words ring just as true today as when they were first written. Hesse’s work primarily deals with authenticity and the search for self, through which he came to see solitude as critical to reaching one’s authentic self and fulfilling their true potential – even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

The world we live in has created a currency out of socialisation. Every day you’re bombarded with advertising and media that try to ram an ideology that demonises solitude down your throat. Whether you get married, have children, or make enough friends seems to be the major criteria that people judge their success by, even when there’s so much more to get out of life.

Those who see beyond the messaging that constantly praises marriage and popularity, understand what poet May Sarton meant when she said that “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” This applies heavily to Sigma males, who are known as being the “lone wolves” of society, due to their choice to walk away from the social pressures and expectations that most people live by, and instead choosing to carve out their own path in life according to their authentic inner selves.

In this post of Notes From A Sigma male, let’s go through the reasons why being alone is actually a super power, with the insider knowledge that comes from being a Sigma male.

Being alone is a sign of mental and emotional maturity

A lot of people live life with this impulse, a sort of restlessness that makes it hard to sit still and do nothing. This is an immature impulse from the brain that is what bubbles up and makes it so hard for kids to sit still. The urge to constantly be doing something, or engaged with something outside of our own minds is a sign that the mind has not truly formed to be at peace with itself.

Being alone, and engaging in more meditative, self reflective practices is a way of training the mind to be at peace with itself, even when totally alone. Restlessness comes from a sense of inner discomfort, and a need to be distracted from that discomfort by external stimuli. Sigma males naturally cut through this noise.

Sigma males know that the most important company you find in life is the company of yourself, and dedicate themselves to finding peace within their own minds. This requires spending time alone, and genuinely confronting the thoughts and emotions you find yourself encountering, instead of running away from them and seeking some kind of external distractions.

Only through this self reflection and self confrontation can true growth occur, and spending time alone is key to reaching this point.

Being alone lets you handle life better overall

Spending time alone develops your ability to look after yourself, instead of relying on other people or outside instruction for self care. Studies show that an increased ability to tolerate time alone is linked to many positive elements across all areas of life, including higher levels of happiness, better life satisfaction, and improved stress management. Enjoying spending time alone has also been linked to a lower risk of developing depression, which just goes to show how well it improves your overall mental state and relationship with yourself.

This is true throughout life, and something that you can benefit from as soon as you start practising it. Even in children, encouraging them to spend time in solitude has been shown to help with emotional regulation and controlling unruly behaviour. Just as kids can learn to better regulate their childlike impulses by spending time alone, so too can adults. While it comes easily to sigma males, and is a big part of what makes them such stable and reliable characters, there really is no cut off age at which you cease to be able to practice the art of solitude.

Being by yourself gives you time to process

Life is complex, and the things we go through on a daily basis truly demand a great deal of reflection in order to be able to process. Nowadays, people so easily reach into their pockets and pull out their mobile phones whenever they have a spare minute, that few people actually take the time to sit back and reflect on their experiences.

Back in the day, it was far more commonplace to spend time alone and reflect on life through the process of journaling. Nowadays, however, people rely on their mobile phones, picture galleries, and social media to record their memories for them, instead of taking the time to do so for themselves. But processing the daily occurrences of your life is critical for learning from them, and ultimately for growth.

As sigma males are so passionate about constantly improving and developing themselves that they relish the opportunity to take time out and really let their experiences sink in. They like to go over each day, identify the things they would like to improve upon or do differently, and remember this as they move forward, improving themselves one day at a time.

That being said, taking this time out to process and reflect doesn’t just give you the chance to identify your mistakes or shortcomings. It’s also an opportunity to reflect on all the things for which you’re grateful, and come to develop a greater sense of appreciation for life. Sigma males have little care for material wealth or status symbols because they’re not afraid to dedicate genuine time to reflect and appreciate the more complex, meaningful things that they’re grateful for in life.

Solitude helps you plan for your life

So many people seem to course through life, rolling from one day to the next with little regard for developing a sense of direction or working on their long term plans. While a degree of unpredictability should always be expected throughout life, there are simply some things that will not get done unless they have been planned.

Whether it’s your career, your personal goals, or even more short term aspirations such as travel, proper planning goes a long way. Taking a step back from the hustle and bustle of daily life is how sigma males utilise their time alone as a way of paving the path towards their future.

You can think of the present as the point that connects the past and future. Right now is the time you have to assess what you have already done, figure out your goals, and translate those goals into an actionable plan for the future. Planning helps in reducing any uncertainties that may lie ahead, which is a big part of the reason why sigma males so often find themselves succeeding in life. It is their ability to take time alone and truly plan ahead that allows them to navigate the unpredictabilities of life.

Being alone means getting to know yourself

It sounds simple on the surface, but it’s more complex than you might imagine at first. Despite what they might tell you, I truly believe that very few people in this world truly know themselves. I think most people drift through life with an idea of themselves that is more rooted in assumptions and aspirations than it is in reality.

Spending time alone leaves you with nowhere to hide from yourself, and forces you to get to know yourself as you truly are. What do you like? What do you dislike? What energises you, and fills you with enthusiasm? What are you scared of? What are you lacking? What are you grateful for? These are all questions that can only truly be answered if you give yourself the time and space away from other people to reflect and produce honest answers.

A sigma male’s time alone is spent getting to know himself in this way, and this is what leaves him so capable of achieving his will and reaching a point of self actualisation. Knowledge is power, and to truly know oneself is a kind of super power that can only be achieved by embracing solitude and spending time alone with oneself.