By Halle Rider

The socio sexual hierarchy is a system used to organise males into different archetypes depending on how they relate and interact with each other, how they each behave, who they ultimately are and how they are perceived by the opposite sex.

On this scale we have the alpha, the beta, the omega, the gamma and the lesser-known sigma male.

But where does this elusive sigma male fit in? Well, as it turns out, he fits in right at the top of the social ladder at the same level as the alpha male. This is because he shares many similar traits to the alpha, such as confidence, outward masculinity and charisma; but the difference is that the sigma male chooses to sit on the outside of this hierarchy. He does not feel bound by its expectations. But more on that later.

Here we will be looking at 11 traits of the sigma male that make him the sexiest to women.


He is mysterious

The sigma male is all about being mysterious – his whole being radiates an aura of mystery, and this drives females crazy. He is a man of few words, and the words he does say give glimpses of his strong, vibrant, and intelligent character.

He doesn’t open up to just anyone, and his passions and achievements are private, so venting or bragging on social media isn’t something you’ll find the sigma male doing. It takes a long time to get to know a sigma male, and  this adds to his intrigue and mystery, which when combined with his air of genuine modesty creates something extremely sexy.

For both men and women, a certain amount of mystery can be sexually motivating. Having some mystery stokes the fires of attraction, whereas too much familiarity can kill it stone dead.

This air of mystery isn’t intentional or put on, as the alpha may do in order to get the woman he desires, but the sigma male naturally holds back until he is ready to offer more. He doesn’t mean to be secretive or confusing, he simply has a strong and silent approach to life but women can’t get enough of it. However, it takes a special kind of woman to be able to appreciate this on a long-term basis and not to get frustrated.


He’s independent and self-sufficient

Preferring to keep his own company, the sigma male has mastered the art of self-sufficiency and can quite happily take care of themselves. We aren’t talking about being able to take care of himself only physically, but also emotionally – he doesn’t depend on other people to fulfil his emotional needs.

He doesn’t seek the approval of others, and he doesn’t feel the need to flex on social media about his achievements or travels. He just lives his life, and the only person he depends on to meet all of his needs is himself.

Women love a man who can take care of himself, so it’s no wonder that they find independence and self-sufficiency very sexy traits. 

A sigma male is a firm advocate not only for his own independence, but also for the independence of others which means he is not controlling of his friends or partners which adds to his sexiness.


He is charming and charismatic

As an introverted alpha, the sigma male shares the same traits of charm and charisma, but the difference is he doesn’t put any effort into demonstrating that side of him, it just comes naturally. This means that he is able to get on with many different types of people and can adapt to different social groups with ease.

His charming personality doubled with his charisma helps him to not only be successful in life and business, but in attracting women. Really it goes without saying that any person with charisma and charm is attractive, so of course, women find these traits very sexy.


He’s respectful

To be charming, we also need respect and the sigma male has tons. He is polite and respectful towards others, valuing their independence as well as his own.

Being so charming, it’s no wonder that sigma males are also very polite and respectful of others. He values the independence of others as well as his own, and as a result, he respects the freedoms of his friends and partners. Women love a man respects their freedom as well as his own, and who isn’t clingy and desperate for their attention; so, it’s clear why women find the sigma’s respectful nature very attractive.


He doesn’t play by society’s rules

The sigma male is a lone wolf. He does things his way, and he doesn’t necessarily follow the rules by the book. This is why he sits outside the socio sexual hierarchy and avoid the expectations that come with it. He fits the stereotype of a rebel without a cause, and what woman doesn’t find a rebel sexy?

This also means he has no desire to follow leaders and is generally unresponsive to authority even though this doesn’t mean that he is a criminal, it just means he is a free thinker, freed from the human tendency to find comfort in authority – he has little to no compulsion to accept it.

However, sometimes he may actually agree with authority, but this will arise from independent, rational thought that just so happens to tie in with what authority dictates.

Women are seriously attracted to this rebellious and free-thinking type of guy.


He is willing to walk away

One of the sexiest traits to women that a sigma male has is his willingness to walk away. This is a high value marker in a man as it displays his confidence in himself and that the has a good sense of self-worth. He is content with his own company and doesn’t rely on anyone else for happiness.

Despite being the lone wolf type; to be as successful as he is in his work and personal life requires a certain level of assimilation into the different levels of the social hierarchy, and he definitely rises to the challenge. But he is also capable of escaping these hierarchies, never being dependent on his boss, friends or co-workers to maintain his happiness in life, and he won’t hesitate to walk away.

We find this trait on the opposite end of the spectrum to unattractive traits such as neediness, clinginess and desperation.


He’s smart and curious

As a curious kind of guy, the sigma male is also naturally pretty smart with his curiosity leading him to a life of pursuing knowledge. As a result he is intelligent and well read, and he knows how to use this to his advantage. 

He might be the introverted version of the alpha male, but unlike the alpha he doesn’t feel the need to pretend to be smart or show off his knowledge for attention. The attention comes to him naturally because he’s genuinely smart, and his wit and intellect helps him to stand out. Women love a rebel, but they also find intelligent, witty men who can hold a deep and stimulating conversation seriously sexy – and the sigma is both these men.


He is a great listener

The sigma male is not the type of guy to be in love with the sound of his own voice. Quite the opposite in fact – he is the quiet guy, actively listening to the conversation in which he is part of, taking mental notes and not engaging in unnecessary filler talk. He listens in order to consider other people’s opinions, views, and to allow himself some time to contribute a meaningful, well thought out response.

Women are very attracted to men who are good listeners, so it’s no wonder sigma males tend to have their pick of the women!

But there is an added bonus…being able to actively listen to a woman and take time to respond means it’s less likely that the sigma will put his foot in his mouth and say something stupid or embarrassing that could give his love interest ‘the ick’ and put her off altogether.


He is authentic and genuine

As sigma males don’t conform to society’s rules and standards, they also aren’t dependant or influenced by anyone else’s judgement or perspective or feel the need to impress anyone. This allows him to be one hundred percent authentic and genuine, and to women, authenticity is one of the sexiest traits a man can possess.

He lives life on his own terms, does what he wants, when he wants, and spends his time, energy and resources on things that will get him closer to his personal goals and plans, instead of worrying about keeping up with trends.. 

This means that he doesn’t rely on anyone else for validation – he knows his self-worth and thinks that his opinion of himself is far more important to that of anyone else. He doesn’t need tons of friends to remind him of how great he is – he knows that himself, and he doesn’t take other people’s validation as seriously as he takes his own.


He knows what he wants

It’s no wonder that a sigma male’s fierce independence and self-assuredness contributes to his confidence in his goals and ambitions; he knows what he wants in life. This is very sexy to women, which means the sigma male could seduce nearly any woman he wants. But he’s not that type of guy; when it comes to dating women, he would prefer to spend his precious time and energy with a woman who can match his personality with the same level of ambition, self-sufficiency and independence.


He’s a risk taker

The sigma male is a big flirt… with danger. With all of his already certified sexy traits such as independence, self-sufficiency, and the fact that he doesn’t always comply with authority, it is no surprise that he is a bit of a risk taker and likes to live life on the edge. Now, this doesn’t mean necessarily that he will break the law or do something stupid, but he’s quite happy to step right up close to the line. It’s no secret that women love a bad boy, and to them, this edgy, natural behaviour that the sigma displays is sexy with a capital S.

While the alpha will mimic this trait In order to show off or to make a point, the sigma does this naturally and simply for the fact that it fits with his personal world perspective.

But make no mistake – these aren’t any old risks that he takes spontaneously without first thinking them through carefully. They may appear reckless but they are always calculated. Anyway, what harm can come from bungee jumping or swimming with sharks?