By Halle Rider

Sigma males share similar traits with the alpha male such as confidence, self-assuredness, and great leadership skills, despite a difference in their approaches. However, one major difference between the sigma male and the alpha male is that the sigma male is more introverted than the extroverted alpha.

Even with his introversion, the sigma male is somewhat of an enigma – with his inner strength, charm, and mystery creating a unique and rare type of man who may be easily misunderstood by others.

This can inevitably lead to being wrongly judged by those who don’t understand him, fanning the flames of confrontation and putting the sigma male in what he considers an undesirable situation – one in which he must stand up for himself.

So, how so how exactly do the sigma male’s qualities and personality traits influence the way in which he does this?


He stays calm, cool and collected

The sigma male doesn’t like confrontation in general so will avoid it wherever possible. He doesn’t appreciate being forced into a situation where he has to defend himself in the first place – but will do so if he has to. One of the most alluring qualities of the sigma male is his ability to stay as cool as a cucumber when faced with even the tensest of situations, being so calm and collected that he has the power to diffuse some of the most heated debates.

When he has to defend himself however, he will do so with his intelligence and intellect, preferring to use brains over brawn – even if he is physically stronger than his opponent.


He puts his good listening skills to use

The sigma male isn’t the type of guy to love the sound of his own voice; in fact, he is a fantastic listener, and that’s what sets him apart from other types of men. He doesn’t care for chatter that isn’t meaningful or useful and spends most of his conversations actively listening rather than speaking. He wants to learn and consider other views and opinions before he forms and shares a carefully thought-out response. This is a great trait to possess when having to stand up for himself, as these transferable skills allow him to respond in the most calm, measured, and thoughtful way instead of letting his emotions boil over and instead reacting in an explosive, non-helpful manner. Being such a good listener, he is unlikely to  put his foot in his mouth and say something stupid which could lead to bigger problems down the road.


He thinks before he speaks

Following on from the previous point, not only is he a great listener, but this goes hand in hand with the way that the sigma male always likes to think before he speaks.

To him, all conversations are significant and as an introvert, may find himself feeling anxious about the idea of tripping over his own words knowing this will be ineffective when having to stand up for himself, especially if it’s a sudden and unexpected discussion. So he will take time to listen, then think carefully about the words he will use in his response with the intention of being able to communicate his point effectively, in a way that’s unlikely to be misconstrued, therefore hopefully ending the exchange as quickly as possible.


He has a sensitive side and shows respect

Introverts are often able to feel things deeply and tend to rank higher on the sensitivity and empathetic scale than other males. This means he is able to relate to and identify with others quite easily. He uses this strength to his advantage, especially when he has to be on the defence and stand up for himself. 

He is also very respectful of other people and is open to hearing their perspective and opinions – but only if he is listened to and respected in return.

Likewise, he values peoples differences, freedoms, and points of view, as long as his are valued in return. While he remains respectful when he has to stand up for himself, he will have no problem disengaging  when he grows tired or it seems that he and his opponent are at an impasse, or when there is a lack of respect from the other side.


He expresses himself without being aggressive

The sigma male doesn’t like aggression or intimidation, and this also applies when he finds himself in a position where he has to stand up for himself. He has a knack for being able to express himself clearly in all areas of his life, and this means he is able to defend himself without the need for aggression or intimidation unlike the alpha male who relies on these traits when he goes into defence mode. He might share many traits with the alpha, but one thing that sets them apart is that if the sigma male gets into a heated discussion or argument, he is so non-aggressive that not only can he fight his corner, but he can often diffuse the situation and even help his aggressor to relax and to even see reason.  


If he gets overwhelmed his inner defences engage

Sigma males are known for their quiet nature in general, but there are times when a sigma male will go especially quiet, and this includes when he is actively listening and when he is overwhelmed – both of which can happen in a tense moment with someone else. If he finds himself in a situation where he feels he has to stand up for himself, he may find this confrontation gets a little too much for his introverted nature and instead of blowing up at his aggressor, he will go silent as he puts up his mental walls to defend his sanity and retreats to the sanctuary of his own mind. This not only helps him stay calm and guarded, but also to process the situation and to help him work out what the best course of action will be for him to achieve the best outcome from a tense situation, even if he may even be feeling mentally attacked. 


He is adaptable

Being the social chameleon that he is with a flexible personality and the skill to adapt to any environment or group, a sigma male can adapt to any situation, even if it’s not the most positive one. If he does happen to find himself in a situation where he has to defend himself, he will still find a way to adapt and adjust to the situation, and his opponent. He has the ability to act as the voice of reason and has the ability to deescalate a tense moment when necessary. Considering the way the sigma male is so adept at interacting with all the different hierarchies of society, often taking on different roles within them, it’s no wonder he is able to draw upon this adaptability when he needs to stand up for himself.


He knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to walk away

We know that a  sigma male is fiercely independent and self-assured, we know that he is ambitious and determined to reach his own goals and aspirations. In short, the sigma male knows exactly what he wants in life, work, and relationships.  When he finds himself in a sticky situation where he has to fight his corner, the sigma male will call upon his understanding of what he wants and apply it to the situation. If he knows that it is necessary to defend himself in order to continue or improve his level of contentedness in his life then he will do so. If it’s necessary to stand up for himself to continue on the path to achieving what he knows he wants, then he will do it. If it doesn’t serve him, then he will employ his useful sigma trait of simply walking away.

His willingness to walk away from the situation shows his opponent that he is confident himself and that the has a good sense of self-worth. He is content in his own company and he doesn’t have time to waste on people who don’t understand him or refuse to compromise. Therefore, he is willing to walk away from any situation that he doesn’t deem as worthwhile or productive, and that includes when he has to stand up for himself.

He doesn’t care if it people assume he’s ‘taking the L’ because he only cares about what he thinks.  


He is self-aware

A sigma male is confident in himself; he knows who he is and as we know from earlier, he knows exactly what he wants. He’s spent a long time with himself thinking about what he’s all about and has no issue in rejecting the roles that society expects him to play. This means he doesn’t feel bound by those societal pressures, and instead allows their own needs, wants and interests to come first.

That’s why when he has to stand up for himself, his self-awareness helps him to stay focused and it also allows him to manage his emotions more effectively, which is essential in order for the sigma to be able to successfully stand his ground.


He is non-conforming

The sigma male’s rebel streak hates the idea of conforming to society’s expectations, he hates following instructions and will happily break rules if he feels it is necessary to do so. It’s not that he does it intentionally, but the way he thinks and acts can be completely different from the way other people do. Does he care that this might mean he doesn’t have tons of friends? Nope! If his so called ‘friends’ can’t accept him for who he is then he doesn’t consider them as friends worth having anyway.

So, how does his rule-breaking non-compliant nature translate into the way he stands up for himself? He will not allow himself to be swayed or manipulated into conforming and agreeing with what the other person is saying if he doesn’t truly believe it. He knows who he is, and if people don’t get that then, as far as he’s concerned, that’s their problem. He’s not going to allow himself to be walked over by others and he will make sure in his special sigma way, that they know that.