By Halle Rider

We all have an idea of what the stereotypical alpha male looks like, and there are a lot of definitions floating around the internet, but let’s just get one thing straight here – being a bully, a tyrant, and a jerk isn’t what an alpha male is all about. Yes, they come across as strong, ambitious, competitive and sometimes intimidating, but they can also be generous, loyal, kind and loving with the added perk of being willing to face conflict and protect the underdog. The truth is, that successful and mature alpha male are leaders, not tyrants. They share resources, lift others up, and strive to motivate and inspire others.

So, let’s get into the twelve signs to know if you’re an alpha male.


You’re a leader

Highly confident, intelligent and successful alpha males represent the majority of all senior executives. As they are natural leaders, they like be the top dog and the one calling the shots – totally comfortable when they have full responsibility and power. They get a thrill out of being in charge, and they don’t freak out under pressure, or get stressed when they have to make important decisions like other people do – they’re far more likely to stress when complex decisions aren’t left up to them to decide. 

Do you always find yourself in positions of leadership, whether in social situations or at work? If so, you’re probably an alpha male. Alpha males are always more likely to lead than follow.


You have style and take care of yourself

Image is important to an alpha male. They don’t like to look unkempt or come across as a slob, so they take time to work on themselves – inside and out, so they can present the best version of themselves to the world and get closer to achieving their goals. Going to the gym and taking pride in their appearance is something that comes naturally, looking after their health and body is important to them, and of course they also have style.

Alpha males have a unique sense of style of their own. But it’s not just about appearance, it’s also about attitude. When it comes to the way they act as well as their appearance, true alpha males take a careful and considered approach. And importantly, of course, they know that the more stylish they are, the more attractive they’ll be to the opposite sex.


You’re competitive

Do you find yourself competing with others to prove you’re the best? If you’re an alpha male, you will take competition seriously, and actually enjoy it, especially when you’re proving you’re the best in something you feel confident in. For the alpha, it’s all about competition and comparison, and keeping their position at the top of the social hierarchy.


You’re a confident extrovert

Alpha males are known for having a ton of confidence and self-belief – some may say they can border on being arrogant, they’re so confident. If you’re self-assured, not afraid of failure, and understand your capability to succeed in everything you do, you’re probably an alpha male. An alpha male will go headfirst into unknown territory with a high level of self-assurance and confidence that other types of male could only imagine. This is what makes an alpha such a strong leader.

Furthermore, they are very well attuned to the inner workings of the social hierarchy and are extremely skilled at reading people. The fact that they are usually highly extroverted gives them the power to take advantage of this and allows them to benefit from this skill.

You wouldn’t expect it, but there are some examples of alpha males that actually started out in life as introverts, but over time they evolved and adapted to their shortcomings. Some alphas who struggle with being more introverted learn to become ambiverts, displaying traits of both introversion and extroversion. Take for example Bill Gates – often referred to as one of the most successful alpha males of our time. But did you know he’s actually an introvert with extroverted traits? Other famous examples of an introverted alpha include Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein, who started out as introverts, but as their careers took off and they learned more about themselves and their abilities, they adopted more extroverted traits as a result.


You don’t need the approval of others

If you’re an alpha male, you rely solely on your own approval and validation. You know what you want from life, are genuinely happy with who you are and always seeking to be the best version of yourself for YOU and only for you. An alpha male knows who he is, for better or for worse, and isn’t bothered about receiving feedback from others about how well he’s doing. He is aware that people have their own agendas and biases, so he knows that he can only rely on himself and objective data. Anyway, what is the point of life if you’re living it based on someone else’s expectations?


You are in control of your emotions

Sometimes alpha males can get labelled as being cold and never showing emotion. On the contrary, alpha males tend to have a deeper understanding of emotional intelligence than many people think.  It just so happens that they are logical thinkers, with the ability to understand the true value of their feelings and to rationalise situations. They are able to read the emotional state of others and react accordingly.

As an alpha, you’re not cold nor are you emotionally challenged – you just don’t let emotions control you.


You know how to stay calm in stressful situations

So, this isn’t that surprising either, but alpha males take control when things get tough, and don’t fall apart when they find themselves in high stress situations. There are men who will freak out and fall apart, but not the alpha. Besides, falling apart under pressure isn’t exactly the quality women look for in a man! If you’re an alpha male, you have the ability to look objectively at the situation and you never let the circumstances control you. 


You break the rules

As an alpha male, you realize that nobody became successful in life without bending a few rules here and there. Sometimes it’s necessary in order to get what you want – but you’re not always a rebel, you only break the rules when it’s totally necessary. If you’re afraid of breaking the rules in a critical deciding moment, then you’re probably not an alpha male. An alpha male will break certain rules in order to carve out his own path in life, and to attract the females like mad – and it works!


 You don’t turn the other cheek

Alpha males are the furthest thing from a doormat – they never let anyone walk all over them. To keep enemies at bay you make it clear that you will bite if someone barks, and that person will think twice before barking again.

The alpha male knows that if he doesn’t stand up for himself, people will come after what he has earned and achieved so he will do what is necessary to protect what he has built for himself, which is why he plays his position and exercises his dominance.

Don’t get us wrong, we don’t endorse this strategy as an offensive one, but as a form of defence. In the words of Howard Stark: “The best weapon is the one you never have to fire.” But if you do have to fire it, you only ever do it the once, so they know not to mess with you again.


You have high self esteem

With a high level of confidence often comes a higher sense of self. If you have a high level of self-esteem and self-respect, then you could very well be an alpha male. Do you think women are attracted to men who don’t respect themselves? Of course not. And women can spot that from a mile away. A true alpha male will always respect himself first and foremost, come what may.


You have courage

Obviously if you’re an alpha male, you will have bags of courage, willing to take risks others won’t. this isn’t to say that you’ll do something stupid or dangerous, but you’ll act upon being brave any chance you get. The alpha male knows that taking risks and putting themselves out there is not only important for their sense of self but is an attractive quality to females.


You’re genuine

One of the most important characteristics of an alpha male, is that they never pretend to be something they’re, not – they know who they are, they’re comfortable in their own skin, and always give off an authentic vibe.

 If you’re an alpha male, you don’t hide who you are and anyway, you know that there’s no point when it comes to women; they can smell a fake very quickly.  

Alpha males don’t adapt for the world, they let the world adapt to them.